


Show me the foothold from which I can climb

by jule1122



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Past Isobel Evans/Noah Bracken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25783654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jule1122/pseuds/jule1122
Summary: From the beautiful words prompt listKilig (Tagalog) -the thrilling feeling of butterflies in your stomach when something romantic happens.
Relationships: Isobel Evans/Gregory Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 18
Kudos: 121





	Show me the foothold from which I can climb

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by @ @prouvaireafterdark  
> Title from "Mountain at My Gates" by Foals

Michael walks back from the kitchen carrying three beers. He passes one to Max before joining Alex on the couch and setting the other two on the coffee table. He watches the door for a few minutes, slumping back when it doesn’t open. “How long does an ‘evening stroll’ take?” he asks Alex with a sigh.

“It hasn’t even been ten minutes.” Alex places a hand on Michael’s knee, stilling a leg he hadn’t realized he was bouncing. “I swear you’re more nervous than Greg. You know she’s going to say yes. You’re happy about that, right?”

“Yeah, you know I am.” It’s true. Michael had been thrilled when Greg told him and Max he planned to propose at their next family dinner. Greg wanted everyone there to celebrate, but he also wanted to ask Isobel privately so he’d taken her on a walk between dinner and dessert, leaving the rest of them to wait. He looks around the room, Kyle and Rosa are watching something on her phone, Maria and Max have Liz laughing over stories about the Wild Pony’s wilder customers. Michael is the only one feeling antsy.

Alex taps his leg, drawing his attention back to him. He doesn’t say anything, just watches Michael patiently and waits for him to speak.

“I’ve been thinking about Noah, about Iz and Noah,” he finally admits. “He was everything Isobel wanted, and he adored her. We thought she was lucky, finding someone who loved her so much he never questioned anything. Should have known better,” Michael snorts, remembering how naive they had been. “But at the time, I was really happy for her even though it made me feel like I didn’t have a place in her life anymore. Even though I was jealous of what they had.”

Alex squeezes his leg in support. Michael knows he understands because they talk now, they share things. Alex knows that no matter how hard Michael tries, he’s never been able to keep his love for Isobel and Max completely free of resentment. He listens without judgement, taking away any guilt Michael feels about it.

“Max and I were both so fucking miserable, you know. We’d lost the people we loved, lost them partly to protect her, and it seemed like Isobel just walked into this perfect relationship. It made Max sad, but I was angry, angry that she didn’t even know how much I gave up for her, and all she cared about was being seen with the right people to help Noah’s career, and I was never going to be the right people. Despite that, it gave me hope to see them together. I thought if after everything she’d done, Isobel could be happy, maybe someday I could be too. Turns out it was all a lie. I don’t even mean Noah,” Michael laughs at the irony. “If you ignore the fact that he was a mind-controlling secret alien serial killer.”

Alex inclines his head, “It’s a lot to ignore, but okay.”

“What I didn’t see was Isobel was pretending all the time. No matter how much she thought Noah loved her, she always had to hide parts of herself, big, important parts. She could never trust that he would still love her if he knew the truth. I hated how much she changed, I felt like I lost my sister, but she was still there. She just got so good at hiding I didn’t recognize her.”

“That’s exhausting,” Alex says, the weight of understanding noticeable in his voice.

“Yeah,” Michael agrees, taking Alex’s hand. “She doesn’t do that with Greg. She never hid who she was from him, hell, she basically flaunted it, and he fell in love with her, all of her. Seeing Isobel, the Isobel I know, happy and loved, I don’t want her to lose that. Which is a stupid thing to be worried about when Greg’s proposing right now.”

Alex doesn’t say anything, just shifts so he is facing Michael directly. Michael knows he is thinking about what he said, working his way through Michael’s words before responding. The silence used to drive him crazy, make him think Alex was ignoring him, and he’d keep talking, saying shit he didn’t mean just to get a response. But now he gives Alex time, trusts Alex to be honest when he is ready to speak.

The hand Michael isn’t holding comes up to cup his face, and Alex gives him a smile so gentle he has to close his eyes for a second. “You have that, too, Michael. You don’t have to look to Isobel to know what love looks like. You are loved exactly as you are, because of everything you are. You never have to hide anything from me. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Michael leans forward so his forehead rests against Alex’s shoulder. Alex slides his hand from Michael's face to the back of his neck, massaging gently. Michael sinks into the motion, anxiety and tension bleeding away, leaving the grounding sense of contentment and belonging he’s only ever felt with Alex.

Trust Alex to figure out the source of Michael’s discomfort before he did. Michael is so used to ignoring and shoving away the small part of him that resented and envied Isobel in equal measure, that he didn’t notice when his feelings changed. He longer sees Isobel as this example of what could be if only he were better or more deserving of love. Now he hopes Isobel finds with Greg what he and Alex have, that she realizes how special that kind love is and knows to hold on to it. 

Michael has never been confident in his own happiness, never thought anyone would look at his life and think it was something worth having. He and Alex weren’t perfect, but they’ve worked hard to move forward and build something lasting and beautiful. Michael can be proud of that, can wish that for his siblings without apology. Once he lets that feeling settle inside him, any remaining restlessness fades. 

“You have that too, you know,” he looks up Alex, wishing he had the words to explain how falling in love with Alex at seventeen had changed his life and learning how to love him now was the best thing he’d ever done. He thinks of the ring he has back in the airstream, barely hidden since he spends his night at Alex’s, at _their_ , house now. Isobel would kill him if he asked Alex to marry him at what is about to become her engagement party, but with the way Alex is looking at him, eyes full of love, steady and confident, it’s hard to hold the words back.

Alex kisses him, just a soft press of their lips, but it’s enough to keep Michael rooted in the present. He licks at Alex’s lips, hoping to deepen the kiss when he hears the door open.

Michael turns and sees Greg and Isobel standing just inside the door. Greg is beaming, and Isobel holds up her left hand to show off the ring she’s now wearing. It’s not expensive or flashy like the one Noah bought her, a simple band inlaid with turquoise and coral, but Michael knows she will cherish it especially once Greg tells her it was crafted by an artist from the Reservation who’d been helped by and knew Louise.

He meets Isobel’s eyes across the room and smiles, but doesn’t get up. He let’s Liz and Maria rush to her, hugging her and letting her show off her ring. He watches Max clap Greg on the shoulder and shake his hand before pulling Isobel closing and kissing the top of her head. Alex wraps his arms around Michael, content as well to wait to offer their congratulations. They will have plenty of time to celebrate. For now Michael leans back into Alex’s embrace and imagines what it will be like to see his ring on Alex’s finger. He doesn’t think Isobel will want a long engagement, but if she does, he has a feeling he’ll beat her to the altar.


End file.
